Reward me, baby.

When 1/3 of your office is on unpaid leave (furlough problems), you have slightly more downtime. Which is why today I realized I have 18 reward cards in my old, beaten up well-loved gold wallet. ONE-EIGHT. Even more pathetic? A good half of them are to food establishments. Another quarter I barely use. I would say only 4 or 5 of this excessive collection are used with any regularity.

Upon realizing this, I decided I would download the key ring app. What a concept! You scan the barcode, it saves your card info for you, all you have to do is have the barcode scanned on your phone when you’re frequenting, say Staples (why do I have a Staples card? When did I last even GO there?!) I mean, God forbid I find myself reward card-less at Subway! No more carting sround all that crap, you’re efficient and so ‘now’! So I take the time, upload each one to the app… and promptly return all the plastic devils to my absurdly overstuffed Kate Spade. What if it doesn’t work next time I find myself at American Eagle (seriously, when do I shop there?)!

For reals, what the hell do most of these even bring to my life? CVS I get. Extracare, you my homey.  I felt truly accomplished when I achieved VIB at Sephora. Then I realized that meant I had dropped $500 there in a year. Whoops…? But legit I have been scanning my Hallmark card for what seems like years, have achieved “silver level”, and I’ve never seen a thing as a result.

But you bet your bottom dollar that sucker gets swiped every time. “Oh, I have a rewards card!” Well played, companies. You know my spending habits. You have me hooked on even more junk I don’t need.

But, I mean, for real, I get ounce back at Orange Leaf frozen yogurt and you can’t just throw that away.


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